Last saturday night, my friend and I have been chatting over the internet, he insisted that I listen to some song which he sent online. Without any hesitation, I tried to listen to what he has been trying to make me hear. When I opened the song, I just stared at amazement on how his voice could actually be that great! I did imagine him singing it in front of me - what’s worse? I remember how I felt for him.

The endless crush thing which made me feel ecstatic with every gaze and every instant message I have been getting from him. A crush, which in fact is only as it is, while he is (or was?) with his girlfriend. I remember tales of having him around. He was the first guy I talked to (with the exception of my former hs classmate Jerick Mones), and he was, I believe, my first drug. (at least during college XD)

And he was there everyday. In front of me during chem lab classes (would you believe, we were almost groupmates had I not changed places to those brainy kids *who in the long run have been my great friends*), he was there whenever I have to lean back and approach those at the back (because my friends and I are always at the first three seats on the left side of the class for 2 semesters!) - he was there staring at me.

Back then, I had someone. At the same time, I also did not know that someone else from our group of friends have been crushing on me (until now) and he was the one whom I have always been having as a groupmate. Maybe, they’re telling each other things and that lead me to him whom I now wanted, and not to him whom I hav been crushing.

Anyway, after 2 semesters of not having him as a classmate, and I think it would ever happen again, there he was in love with one of his classmates. Not that I am bitter or anything else, but hearing how they are enjoying each other’s company, wow. I never thought it could happen to him.

but anyway, nevermind. It’s just one of those times, and for the record, I could keep this within and not tell anyone. T_T

I have spent my Saturday rising early and preparing for a school meeting. I arrived late, but on the contrary, most people were too. The room was not even available for the officers’ occupancy. Much to my surprise, JR was there, for the 3rd time around… Would you believe, the higher officers were actually taking some time considering having MASS RESIGNATION?! Shocking enough, people whom I have been close with did not attend, and the three crushes I was having was there. XD

While that was all the rage and confusion regarding the student council, I found myself with someone the next day. He wanted to go to church since his duty occupied the latter hours of the day, which means he can do whatever he wants, wherever he wants, and whomever he wants. There he met our elders, the members and most of my friends. At tita Elvie’s house, there we ate so much of everything because Tito Erwin just sent them their package.

There were chocolates, nuts, different kinds of food I have only seen way back in my life (okay, that was just too exaggerated) and all those self-pampering goods. There was also the Mango Tees they have reserved for especially for us just to keep what we have long been expecting - wearing Mango Tees at the same time. XD

Since Kate, Tita Elvie’s second daughter is in-charged of their GROUP project (I was commended as Kate also who individually does what a group should have been doing), she asked us to help her with her project. However, I was so shrunk to the most that I could be shrinking because tita initially did not approve of the one we did first. You could just imagine how I’d get tumbling with a particle of dust.

Leaving Parañaque, we accomplished our anticipated event of wearing the same type of Mango tees. XD There were 6 of us, each having our own color (and size) of the said tee. Mine was violet. CX

Yes, you’ve read it right. I’m a nursing student, hence the burden of physical assessment return demos for today’s activity in Primary Health Care Lab. Since Monday has been considered as a holiday, I had no idea that I’m up for some memorizing and sleeping-not again (after the almost only 9-hour sleep I got just last Wednesday to Thursday, just to study for my Midterm Exams and finish most of the work needed for our English Portfolio) and now, this new challenge for my batch mates and I for the nth time around!

About my school, there’s been too much of a drama lately. Some of my classmates are either dropping our or shifting to courses or transferring schools. How come they can do that? Why now? Why have they decided later after pursuing a one-year fellowshipping with friends and studying for those major exams and all? Why change their minds now?! And why after enrolling for this year’s first semester?!

From Ruth, one of my friends from High School…

“For students who think that they have fallen in love already: ‘When a man and a woman find each other, it does not necessarily mean that to preserve your intense feelings, you need to have a formal relationship as boyfriends and girlfriends. While both of you are still busy with your studies, it’s possible that you could make each other as an INSPIRATION. No commitment; just a ROMANTIC BOND. Isn’t it sweeter when you both accomplished everything you want in life, and yet, you still end up together?’ “

And yes, I have been reading this for the Nth time since I received it. I have also shared this already to almost all my friends (who got time) and who’s most likely to be interested.

It’s no surprise that I made him read it even if it bores whatever it is in him. He does read my phone’s messages anyway so I might as well make him read it. As he finished through the message, there’s this really really irresistible smile that I was looking forward to, the one that would really touch your heart and melt you in your place, with the response of agreeing to the quote.

Just yesterday, he reminded me that as he left for our school leaving Girlyn and I at Tanauan because they have to do their English activity and all. What I have been wanting is that things be what they are supposed to be, for the better. If it’s not really for me, then I might as well be glad since I have been given a chance to be someone whom he found _______.

There’s still hope, I have been teasing to my girlfriends as I let them read this. One of them even told me that it might be one of the reasons why. Anyway, I’m really overwhelmed by the assurance that it will never be diminished and that I am part of his future plans. -_-

It’s coming August already and is the season for taking the UPCAT. I have so much of friends that soon would take it, and I’m excited and scared, and fearful for them. I know they have been anticipating the event like for the whole high school years that they are in. I remember myself being the same. Back at my school now, they have organized for us to watch a play with Ugnayang Pahinungod which they told me (because I didn’t watch it) is about the stand for NOT requiring ROTC for future college students. They were the ones who reviewed my batch mates at Animal Science at UPLB, that’s why I feel like I have some connections to them, however, I still did not find myself watching their presentation. haha

Returning to UPCAT, last year was raining when they took their exams. And the same thing happened two years ago, when it was my turn. However, Arnie was standing right outside the ECON building where I took my UPCAT, and he waited for me there like in 2 hours?! Then he also gave me chocolate just when the exam was about to start, and I have been the center of attention for the anxious students. -_-

Then, I have to return to the real world, and work on whatever it is that I have to do. I’ll post a longer entry next time.

Oo nga pala, hindi nga pala tayo

Hanggang dito lang ako, nangangarap na mapa-sayo

Hindi sinasadya

Na hanapin pa ang lugar ko

Asan nga ba ako? Andiyan pa ba sa iyo?

Nahihilo, nalilito

Asan ba ko sayo? Aasa ba ko sayo?

Nasusuka ako, kinakain na ang loob

Masakit na mga tuhod, kailangan bang lumuhod?

Gusto ko lang naman, yung totoo

Hindi po ang sagot, hindi rin isang tanong

Nahihilo, nalilito

Asan ba ko sayo?

Asan ba ko sayo?

Nahihilo, nalilito

Asan ba ko sayo? Aasa ba ko sayo?

Dahil, di na makatulog (makatulog)

Dahil di na makakain (makakain)

Dahil di na makatawa (makatawa)

Dahil, di na

Oo nga pala, hindi nga pala tayo

Hanggang dito na lang ako

Nahihilo, nalilito

Asan ba ko sayo? Asan ba ko sayo?

Nahihilo, nalilito

Asan ba ko sayo? Aasa ba ko sayo?

Nahihilo… Nahihilo…

Nalilito…

Why do I have to feel this way? I should have been better by the time I ate [or somewhere in time in which I have already made myself busy]…
I guess I’m still just not into feeling alright as of now…

I know I have been crushing on someone and all, and we really have been really close.. but what I am actually feeling is such a quagmire of emotions one would want to avoid instead. I know, I have been too fooled by the actions which are most of the time misinterpreted.

I know I’m not someone’s girlfriend, I know you’re not committed to me, I don’t even know if you like me. Listen, it would really mean magnificently sufficient that we part ways in the most convenient way - simply by saying Goodbye…

However, I still must admit that I like it when you stare at me with your perfectly caramel eyes and with your complementary irresistible smile, but whenever I do some intellectual reasoning [and where did I just get that?!], I can never imagine myself with you because you really got so many other close girls whom you are also close with. You even hug them, you even talk with them more… and maybe I’m just jealous.

I love it when you sing wonderfully sensitive and heartwarming songs which touch my heart always, especially when you accompany it with your glaze… but I hate it when we have our time, then you had to go your own way, with somebody else.

Though we have stayed, for the first time, at church even if the Ledesma family attended the afternoon service last night. It was because it was the most awaited night when the topic about Reformed Baptist  Institute of Pastoral Training (RBIPT) students is talked about. There were 4 new students, and therefore 4 new families being supported by the brethren and educated by the preachers of the said institution.

There was food, and this time, the Carbonara turned out fine. Spaghetti was not tasted by me, because I wanted the other and the fact that it has been poured out on me, more quantity than expected. My friends actually had the same for themselves so I was stuck with the choice.

Back to the RBIPT, we met its students and all that is associated with them, so the church’s concerns were also raised - the church’s budget and that the members who agreed to contribute to the institution, the students and their families’ adjustments to the lifestyle here in a different kind of place and of course, that all that is involved in knowing and preaching the Word of God may proclaim and lift His name and be taught wondrously with all what is worth of knowing truly.

On our way home, my sister and I have unconsciously arguing either about sleeping early and going home earlier, when it was actually our duty to fulfill every event of the church - that my mom and I should be there, and that RBIPT + church fellowship is much awaited, and that we should be having ourselves devoted to God especially that it’s always only Sundays that we preach Him for the whole day, and we actually don’t since we only realize that whenever we’re on the church only.

It’s better that we realize how we should be doing, spiritually speaking, and not be bothered about things about tomorrow when we have all the time given to us by God…It’s only actually that my sister should listen and take to heart whatever the pastor is preaching and not just being there physically.

I was actually asking myself why don’t she just be like someone else - zealously looking and going after God’s will and desiring to be one of His sheep. I remember one time when I was still in elementary that I saw from one of the ever-famous autographs that have circulated throughout the church, one page said there that her goal is to live a Godly life, and that inspired me to include myself in that dream…

Thanks be to God that He opened up my heart, and as for my sister who’s not the type who’d want to associate herself with the things concerning GOD, I am constantly praying for her to be the one who’s the same as the rest of my family…

Though I hate Girlyn for singing Migraine to JR and me, I still thank her because I think he has come to think of different things already that when he failed to bid me goodbye, he actually made effort to come over and say,”Cath, hindi na ako nakapagpaalam ng ayos sa iyo…Bye…”

Then I wanted to stay. :”>

During some break time also, we were having some teasing going on since he was saying, “si ***, halata namang may gusto kay JJ e.. Lagi ko nahahalata sa mga babae yun..”

Then I answered, “Talaga, sige nga.. sinong crush ko…?”

He chuckled to himself and actually fixed his stare on me… >.<

***

After so many weeks of classes, sis Anne and I actually have met each other just this afternoon!

I never actually knew she had braces..:D

How come I didn’t know that her birthday was on July 5? What happened last year, weren’t we classmates too?! Or maybe it was because that was the time they went to 81 and spent their whole afternoon doing stuff not to be done [drinking, smoking and all..]

Anyway, it’s another tiring day for me. How won’t it?! I have spent my 12 hours going around and about the school filling my head with different school stuff and photo shoots and kilig moments and bad memories!

In about a 4-day time, my group and I will be having our report and have our luck tried out for actually taking the chance for the exemption from a major exam. I hate it whenever it would involve group projects because it would always be that I would have to lead them and that they depend on me - like what my group mates have been during Filipino class and our presentation of our own rendition of an awiting bayan!

Anyway, since Girlyn had her camera with, of course, this event just determined that we bring out the best of the poses we have with ourselves and everything else! haha.. and then we actually made ourselves late for our last class since we were already hungry and needs to eat, girlyn actually splurged on the 10+ of us some short snacks… XD

It’s actually the first time that I was THAT [15 minutes] late for a class - for the whole of my college years! and I was troubled since I ordered a cup noodles [which tasted not so good] and demanded my time of waiting since it was hot.. o.o

Trip home was only with EP {emmanuel paolo] since others were in their private cars! Then I’m really poor!

I was actually laughing out for myself since I was going to our school meeting at LSC. It is required for students to wear proper attire like pants and closed shoes and sleeved tops. As for me, I have my school shoes to go to our meeting with~
so much for being poor..XP

There’s also Sheryl who treated us a small snack! Cool. It was because we had no lunch and of course, Filipinos tend to be always hungry.. then it rained which made us stay at the place where we ate. JJ’s watch broke. funny.

nonsense post~~